Interview with a Canadian Expat

August 30, 2007 · Filed Under Pregnant in Deutschland · 11 Comments 

Lynn is a Canadian expat that I made friends with in Potsdam who has since moved to Australia. When I met her, she had an almost two year old daughter and was six months pregnant. I’d been opening up more to the idea of being a mom, but getting to know her and seeing her relationship with her daughter was what finally convinced me that I could do it. I thought her German birthing experience would be especially interesting to folks because she had her first child in Canada and her second in Germany, so she could compare and contrast the differences in her experiences, so I decided to ask her about her thoughts:

What were the biggest differences in your prenatal care between Germany and Canada?

There were no fundamental differences between the prenatal care I received in Germany and Canada. I scouted out an English speaking Frauenartz and I was lucky enough to find him only a few blocks from where I lived! In Canada, I hired a doula, took prenatal yoga classes, and also took the prenatal birth classes. Had my German been better, I probably still wouldn’t have taken yoga or participated in the birth classes as this pregnancy was my second one anyway. In Germany, I had an English speaking midwife who gave me acupuncture during the last 6 weeks of my pregnancy.

Were you surprised by anything?

The biggest surprise for me was the lack of a paper skirt at the doctor’s office. Had this been my first pregnancy, I might have been horrified and completely embarrassed but since it was my second pregnancy - I was already accustomed to being ‘on display’ so it wasn’t that bad. But still - it was odd and I had to get used to it.

Did you find anything disappointing? Was there anything you wish you could have changed?

What I found most disappointing about my birth experience in Germany was the lack of compassion from the midwives at the hospital. My regular midwife (who was wonderful) wasn’t on staff that morning so I had another one. They were very severe and harsh. I came into the hospital with really hard contractions and 30 minutes after I got there I was already in transition - the baby was coming. I felt like they thought that I was just being a wimp with all my moaning and groaning. It still irritates me to think about it. Anyway, the birth was hard and fast and I was given an episiotomy without any anaesthetic. So, after the baby was born and I was lying down, I asked another midwife for some paracetamol with codeine and she scoffed at me. I was rather taken aback by that since I just gave birth with NO epidural, and an episiotomy so I was pretty darn sore and swollen. The attitude was - ‘why do you need that?!.

In Canada, the nurses on staff were much more compassionate and understanding of the trauma your body goes through after birth. So, I had Tylenol 3s on a regular schedule.

However, in Canada they expect you to only stay one night and leave the next day for a normal vaginal delivery. I liked the fact that you stay in the hospital longer in Germany - especially if this is your second child - it gives you time to rest and recover from the birth and get to know your new baby. In Canada, a public health nurse comes to your house to see if everything is going well with you and the baby, but in Germany, your midwife visits you at least once a week for 6 weeks. I really appreciated all the help and advice I received from my midwife.

How well do you speak German? Did you have any problems you’d attribute to language in your experience in Germany?

Well, my German isn’t that great. I can get by and can understand and speak in simple sentences - thankfully most medical staff can speak some English. Honestly, I can’t attribute any problems I had to language difficulties - it was probably more cultural differences than anything.

Is there any advice you’d give to expat women giving birth in Germany?

If you aren’t fluent in German, then I would recommend seeking out an English speaking doctor and midwife. If my doctor didn’t speak English, I would have had a very difficult time expressing any concerns I had or asking questions about tests, pregnancy, and the birth. The same goes for my midwife. However, on that note - when you do give birth - I don’t’ think language is an issue. Nature takes its course, and if you have the baby. There is a good website that I found that I gave you the link to.. do you remember it? Perhaps you can post it for others - I found it very helpful.

Links Lynn shared with me:

Some of my thoughts on her experience: the Hebammen (midwives) I had were all great (well, except the first one, but she didn’t have too much to do with me since I wasn’t having contractions during her shift. I could imagine the Hebamme who led the birthing class I attended being the way Lynn describes, however. I think it’s funny that they seemed to think she was making a lot of fuss about nothing. I don’t remember it, but Rainer told me the other day that when I was doing my shot putter grunts, the more senior doctor told me not to be so crazy (I don’t remember the exact wording he told me, but she said something like, “Spiel mal nicht so verrückt.”). But then she was impressed with my “Bärenstark” pushing, so I guess I had the last laugh there!

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Asking for Questions

August 17, 2007 · Filed Under Pregnant in Deutschland · 9 Comments 

I’ve gotten some emails asking about the prenatal and postnatal care and the birth process in Germany. I’ve decided the best thing to do is make a post answering all the questions, so if you have any questions about the procedures, ask in the comments, and I’ll do my best to answer them in an upcoming post. Also, if you have written up a birth story for your German birth, give me the address and I will add a link to it in the upcoming post (I know Blythe and Maria have birth story posts).

Questions I’ve been asked so far:

  • When and how do you choose a Hebamme?
  • Has your Hebamme been helpful?
  • Are there lactation consultants in Germany?
  • Why do you need to take a passport and a marriage certificate to the clinic/hospital?
  • What is a Mutterpass?

So what else would you like to know about? If I can’t answer your question, I’m sure that my readers can!

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The Long-Awaited Birth Story

August 12, 2007 · Filed Under Pregnant in Deutschland · 20 Comments 

Here it is, the long-awaited birth story. Rainer says it’s too detailed, but that’s just my style, so feel free to skim or even skip this post entirely if you so desire. I decided to leave in all the gory details, so be warned, it’s not for the weak of heart (or stomach)!

It all began way back on July 22. I awoke at 6am, after having finished Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows at 3am, thinking that I just needed to make a typical early morning run to the bathroom. When I got there however, I realized that there was a lot more liquid than expected coming out of me, and that my pajama bottoms were soaked. I called to Rainer, “Rainer, the baby is coming!” No answer. “RAINER!!! THE BABY IS COMING!” There was a faint groan from the direction of the bedroom.

I brushed my teeth, washed my face, changed clothes and stuffed a bladder control pad in my pants to help absorb the steady stream of amniotic fluid that was rushing out of me. While I waited for Rainer to do the same, well, except for the bladder control pad part, I made a quick entry in my blog to let folks know that my water had broken (and I apparently can’t spell when going into labor in the early morning). Rainer rushed Charlie out to get his business done, I spread a towel on the front seat of the car, and then we were off, racing towards the Autobahn on the finally reopened main road into town.

Twenty minutes later, Rainer dropped me at the hospital entrance. I waddled through the lobby, down the stairs (where Rainer caught up to me), and into the delivery area to check in. We were taken to a delivery room, where the midwife told us that they were going to do a CTG (baby Doppler) for 30 minutes to see how the baby is doing.

While this was being done, a deranged doctor came in and attempted to insert an IV into me. She started with the right arm, that didn’t work. She moved on to the left arm, again, no luck. Finally, she stuck me several times in the back of the left hand, and managed to find a vein.

When the half hour CTG was up, the midwife announced that Oliver was fine, but I wasn’t having proper contractions and the cervix was only a centimeter open (for those of you not in the know, the cervix needs to open to 10 centimeters). They moved me up to a room in the maternity ward (we got a family room, so Rainer could sleep in the second bed) and they told us that if the real contractions didn’t start in the next 12 hours, they would have to induce labor. Until then, I was not allowed to get out of bed; in fact, they thought it best if I stayed on my left side the whole time. This was to prevent any more amniotic fluid from leaking out (although it still did), and to make sure that the umbilical cord didn’t emerge, which could cause complications during labor.

I’m very glad that I didn’t get assigned bed rest during my pregnancy, because twelve hours stuck in bed was quite enough for me. Not only that, I found it seriously awkward to relieve myself in a bedpan.

I managed to nap a bit, but nothing else constructive occurred, so at 6pm, I was wheeled down to the delivery room, hooked up to the CTG again, and given a pill to induce labor. The midwives said that probably nothing would happen in the next four hours (usually they have to give a second dose of medication then to get things going), so Rainer ran home to take a shower, walk Charlie, and grab clothes and toiletries for himself.

But before Rainer could return, contractions began, and my goodness, were they painful. Oliver’s head wasn’t fully down, so I still needed to stay in bed, looks like all the instructions on birthing positions I received were for naught. I suffered contractions every 4-5 minutes for some time before they announced that Oliver had descended enough for me to get out of bed. And now they wanted to give me an enema.

The midwife did her thing, and then told me to walk around for fifteen minutes before heading to the toilet. But about a minute after getting out of bed, a contraction hit and holding it in during a contraction was not something I was capable of, I ran to the toilet and just made it.

Now that I could stand, we tried a few different labor positions. Sitting on the yoga ball was awful. Standing and hanging on to Rainer proved the most comfortable (Rainer says it was only comfortable for me), but I soon found the contraction pain too overwhelming. It was time for the epidural.

I was ready for pain when they inserted the catheter into my spine. I’d heard a lot of stories about how painful/uncomfortable this procedure is, and you know what? It didn’t hurt at all. I barely even felt it. The anesthesiologist noticed that I winced every time someone touched my IV and offered to put in a new one for me. The last thing I wanted was to get stuck yet again, but Rainer told me that anesthesiologists are usually really good at putting in IVs, so I decided to trust her. She removed the badly placed one that had been burning badly since it was put in by Doctor Demento, and quickly and painlessly inserted a new one in the back of my right hand. I was so grateful, words cannot express my thanks. But this made it uncomfortable to hold hands with Rainer, since the IV was in the way on my right hand and my left hand was a big fiery ball of pain (it still hurts three weeks later if you push on the spot!).

The epidural made things so much easier. I was able to nap a little more, but there were complications. My blood pressure was dropping and I needed to be given IV fluids and medication to try to keep it steady, although it still hovered around 80/45. But as my blood pressure stabilized, Oliver’s heart rate started to drop. Machine after machine was wheeled into the room. I was surrounded by monitors and beeps. Every once in a while an alarm would go off and the midwife would rush in to check.

My cervix was taking its time opening. It wasn’t until late morning on the 23rd, over 24 hours after checking in, that it had gotten to 8 centimeters dilated. I was shivering badly due to muscle exhaustion and despite it being pretty comfortable, I needed to be covered in blankets to keep the shivering under control. The midwife gave me glucose tablets to chew on to keep my energy up. To make sure Oliver was fine, every once in a while, the doctor was inserting a needle through my vagina up into the uterus to draw some blood from his scalp. They then tested the blood to make sure his oxygen levels were fine, which they were. If at any time his oxygen level had dropped, I would’ve gone in for an immediate emergency C-section (Kaiserschnitt).

As noon approached, the contractions started to get painful again. Up until that point, deep breathing had sufficed, but suddenly I was screaming and asking if the epidural dosage could be increased. I had a serious suspicion that the epidural medication had run out and needed to be replaced.

The contractions were coming with almost no pause in between. I was screaming and Rainer was starting to wish that they’d just take me for a C-section. Suddenly, they said I was in the second stage of labor, the cervix was open, and I had an overwhelming desire to push with the contractions.

I knew that this stage could go on for minutes or hours, with first time moms leaning more towards the hour or longer end of things, but I was completely exhausted and didn’t think I could make it another hour. I decided that I was going to bear down with all my strength (and use the deep grunting method I learned as a shot-putter) to get this baby out ASAP. The doctor was poised between my legs, ready to take another blood sample from Oliver when the midwife literally had to push her out of the way, yelling that the baby was coming now and there was no time for another test. Oliver was born after 2-3 minutes, with the fifth push-contraction. Rainer said there was no second push for his shoulders, he just came shooting out. The doctor and midwife both had to wonder at the speed of his delivery, they proclaimed with awe that what I’d done was “Bärenstark” (“done really, really well”).

Oliver is born

Oliver was put on my chest directly after the cord was cut by Rainer, but I was too wasted to do much more than pat him on the back. He was taken by the midwife, who brought him over to the in-room sink, where Rainer gave him his first bath. Despite being born with the umbilical cord wrapped twice around his neck, Oliver was none the worse for wear, and received a perfect 10 out of 10 Agpar score.

Then it was time for me to deliver the placenta. The midwife told me I needed to push again, although I said that I couldn’t push anymore. She goaded me on and finally I made one more push and felt some pressure as the placenta was expelled. The doctor started stitching me up; I had a pretty bad perineal tear. I had expected 10-15 stitches, but the stitching just kept going and going. It didn’t hurt, but I could feel her tying the stitches up.

We stayed in the delivery room for several hours. I nursed Oliver for the first time, and the midwife came in to ask if we wanted a photo of just Oliver or of the whole family. We chose the family shot and she returned later with the lovely photo below.

In the next days in the maternity ward, we were shown by the nurses how to care for Oliver and they helped show me how to breastfeed properly. I went through a lot of giant industrial-size maxi pads and enjoyed the comfy mesh panties provided by the hospital. I was able to shower that evening, and it was lovely. The food was pretty good, and there was a machine that dispensed water (with or without bubbles).

First family photo

After the birth, I swore there was no way I was going to have another baby. I could not go through that again. But as time has gone by and I’ve gotten to know Oliver, I think maybe I could be convinced to go through with the whole thing one more time.

Christina and Oliver after delivery - 23 July 2007

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Geburtsvorbereitung, Teil 6

July 11, 2007 · Filed Under Pregnant in Deutschland · 24 Comments 

On Monday night, we had our sixth and final birth preparation class at the hospital. I really, really wanted to skip the class. I was tired and I’d decided that it wasn’t really giving me anything, but I felt bad since it’s covered by insurance and what if this was the one time that the class really paid off?

We started out this session without meditating (woohoo!), instead the instructor told us about positions for the birth. She discussed the home visits we’d be getting from the midwives and she pushed hard for staying in the hospital for a few days (because this let’s us rest up after the birth, but it also gives the hospital, doctors, and midwives quite a bit more money, so I’m not sure if she’s really all that impartial).

The instructor asked if we were all planning on breastfeeding. One couple answered no, that they knew someone who’d had a bad experience and they just weren’t going to do it. The instructor then went on to give them a one hour lecture on the benefits of breastfeeding. The couple didn’t look too happy about this (and I don’t blame them). I say that the better method is to shortly summarize the pluses of breastfeeding, then ask them to think it over again - “Just give it a try, you can always stop.” I think lecturing people about why they’re making a bad choice just shuts down communication and is going to guarantee that they don’t listen to you, on this topic or any other. She also told us to drink Stilltee (breastfeeding tea - Germans have a tea for boosting every bodily function) and beer (but not in excess) to increase our milk production. I seriously doubt there are any scientific studies to support these suggestions.

She then asked the class what kind of diapers we were going to be using. We are a disposables class. She pulled out a cloth diaper, demonstrated how to prepare and diaper the baby with them, then lectured us on how much waste we were going to be putting in the landfills. The couple next to us mentioned that neither option is eco-friendly, as cloth diapers need to be washed, which uses water and electricity, but the instructor ignored their comment and continued on her tirade. I looked into using cloth diapers and came to the same conclusion as the other couple. I decided that water and electricity were more pressing issues than landfills. I think society has more time to figure out how to process trash than to get over its dependence on coal-based fuels, not to mention climate change melting the glaciers which will someday soon cause water-shortages. In the end, she asked who among us wanted pamphlets on PoPoLiNi diapers (a cloth brand), and she got two takers.

She had a small fit about the baby product industry and told us the only thing we need to clean the baby is a washcloth and some olive oil, followed by marigold-based diaper rash cream. I’m with her that we don’t need all the products that are out there, but I’m going to stick with the APA, Mayo Clinic, and Consumer Reports recommendations for diaper rash cream with zinc oxide. I’ve also got a hair and body wash combo.

Finally, she gave us some handouts, including the addresses and phone numbers of the other mothers in the group, and some freebies (wash cloths and Penaten creme), and sent us on our way. Phew!

Overall, I’d say the class was pretty unnecessary. I’m an avid reader/researcher, so I figured I would know a lot of the stuff going in, but thought it would be a good way to make friends with moms who have kids of the same age. Ummm, nope. Rainer even said it was weird how nobody talked to anyone else. I tried for the first few sessions to engage some of the other women in conversation, but they just didn’t seem interested. I think this has to do with the fact that they have all lived in the area their whole lives. I guess they already know plenty of folks with babies.

In other pregnancy news, I lost 700 grams (1.5 pounds) over the last week. The doctor is pleased cause she thinks this was all fluid that had built up in my body. I’m also ready to announce to you that I have conquered the pregnancy acne! About six weeks ago, I started spraying Paula’s Choice 2% Beta Hydroxy Acid Liquid on my chest and back after baths and all that’s left now are scars (hopefully these will fade over time). Of course, I guess my hormones could have changed during this time period and that explains it instead.

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Geburtsvorbereitung, Teil 5

July 3, 2007 · Filed Under Pregnant in Deutschland · 17 Comments 

I’ve now entered the stage of pregnancy where it’s almost impossible to sleep. And most likely, this will not improve any time in the next few years. Yippee!

Last night we had our 5th birth preparation class. We started out with meditation and y’all know how I feel about that, then we moved on to practicing birthing positions. There are three phases to labor and different positions to get into while having contractions in each of these stages. The most important thing seems to be that you keep your legs spread and try to keep your pelvis loose. Because of the awful bone spurs in my feet, I’m much happier with the sitting positions than the standing ones. If it ends up that Oliver decides to arrive on a day where I will be wishing I was giving birth in a country with air conditioning (which I assume he will be doing), I also can’t see myself using the positions where Rainer is holding me tightly or vice versa. It was quite cool yesterday evening and these positions were already making me uncomfortably warm.

We learned how to breath properly. Basically just deep breaths during contractions until the final stage. In the third stage, if you are not yet fully dilated, you do the hee-hee-hee breathing during the contractions to keep you from pushing. Pushing does not come until the cervix is fully dialated.

After class, our instructor gave us a tour of the birthing room which was surprisingly medical looking. I’d always been told that birthing rooms in Germany were much more bedroom-like, but this is not the case here at Klinik St. Hedwig. It’s more like a non-sterile operating room. This freaked me out a bit, because if they’re going to make it LOOK like an operating room, I want it to be sterile! The women from class were putting their bags up on the counters (after they’d been on the floor) and the instructor, who had just spent two hours sweating on a dirty exercise mat was crawling all over the bed. (Yes, I’ve got a slight case of OCD, actually it’s not that slight - I was an obsessive hand washer in elementary school - but most of the time I can fight the impulses).

We had planned to meet up with Sarah, Cliff and Tammy’s husband Matthias directly after class, but arrived late because of the tour (Never say things like, “7:15 is no problem, they always let us out on time”). But we finally got to the Arkaden and wolfed down some fast food in time to see Ocean’s 13. It was entertaining and had some pretty funny moments. I’d rank it in between Ocean’s 11 and Ocean’s 12.

Towards the end of the movie, I was feeling pretty poorly however. I started having killer contractions that made me sweaty and dizzy. I even thought for a few minutes that this could be the real thing, but the contractions never got regular (on the ride home and for the time after, they came 10, 15, 21, and 8 minutes apart) and they petered off towards morning (they still kept me up much of the night).

Rainer’s sick today. Seems he’s picked up a cold somewhere. I told him that if he gives it to me and I have to give birth while fighting a cold, then he’s in deep doggie doo.

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All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy

June 30, 2007 · Filed Under Pregnant in Deutschland · 6 Comments 

I really don’t have very much interesting to say today, but Rainer tells me that it’s been two days with no new blog entries and that’s just no good!

The nesting thing seems to have been a false alarm. I spent the last few days sleeping (post-cleaning exhaustion, I think) and not having bad contractions or anything else out of the ordinary. 

We did our pre-check-in paperwork at the hospital on Friday - nothing interesting to report there - it took, about two minutes for the paperwork, I peed in a cup, and they did a fast ultrasound to check how the baby is lying. Everything looks perfect in my case. They asked if I have any special wishes (birthing in water, etc), and I don’t, I’ll just see what feels right at the time. The doctor was pleased with the answer and said that’s what they like to hear. (Rainer’s pal Harry who visited recently says I’m the most laid-back pregnant woman he’s ever seen). Because we have private insurance, we should have met the head ob/gyn, but she was at lunch, so we didn’t.

For lunch Friday, we tried out a fairly new place across from the hospital, Café La Roché (if I am remembering the name right) on Prüfeninger Strasse. The lunch was okay, I wouldn’t make a special trip to sample it, but the place has a breakfast buffet Monday-Friday (til 10:30am) and a brunch buffet on Sundays and holidays. Might be worth checking out, as I haven’t heard of any other brunch places in Regensburg, although I’m sure there must be others.

I’m jonesing for American-style chocolate cake, but not quite badly enough to go through the trouble of making one yet. Sucks that there is no Starbucks in Regensburg. Maybe I should check out the McCafe - Do they have these in the US? They’re McDonalds that look like Starbucks inside and have a coffee and dessert counter. The one by the university here has sofas and a fireplace.

I just introduced Rainer to his first Stanley Kubrick film (in this case, The Shining - it’s on sale at Media Markt for €5,99). He thought it was great, even though he is so not into horror movies. I’m not much of a Stanley Kubrick fan, but The Shining and the first half of Full Metal Jacket are excellent.

And I think that’s enough for now. I’m going to hit the sack. Happy trails, partner!

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Geburtsvorbereitung, Teil 4

June 27, 2007 · Filed Under Pregnant in Deutschland · 10 Comments 

Another week, another class. On Monday, the husbands made their first appearance in birthing class and we officially crossed the halfway mark, only two more classes to muddle through now. We spent about an hour meditating all together, some at the beginning, some at the end. The instructor played New Agey music and said things like, “In the early days of your pregnancy, your baby looked like a boysenberry.” I’m all for meditation, but this stuff, not to mention that the room was about 1000 degrees, doesn’t work for me.

The men then introduced themselves and said what their expectations from the class were, most had few and stated they were there to do all they can to support their wives/girlfriends. The instructor then pulled out her baby doll, stuffed pelvis and mesh amniotic sac with placenta and demonstrated again how the baby makes it’s way through the birth canal. This time for the benefit of the men. She also showed us what forceps and a vacuum extractor look like.

All in all, somewhat of a waste of time for me. I want information and I don’t need it to be spoonfed to me multiple times. Rainer enjoyed the evening though and said it made him feel like a dad because he was finally doing something.

I’m wondering if labor is approaching a little early. Since Sunday I’ve been a cleaning and organizing freak. All the baby stuff is assembled and put away, except the smoke detector. I couldn’t push the drill up hard enough into the ceiling to make the holes deep enough. I mentioned this to Rainer when he got home last night and he just grunted. And people wonder why my hinting has a distinctly non-subtle edge to it. In addition, the windows are washed, the bedsheets are fresh, the cobwebs have been vacuumed out of all the corners - even in the storage room, and I’m fighting a serious urge to go pull the weeds out of the yard.

Yesterday we had a checkup at the ob/gyn. I had a problem with bone spurs in my feet a while back and that seems to be returning, the doc says it’s from all the estrogen running around in my body. I also haven’t gained any weight since my last visit, meaning that I’ve managed to lose some of the 1.7 kilos of water I had swelling my feet, wrists, legs and arms. She didn’t do a pelvic exam for some reason, Rainer guesses that maybe it’s something they just do every two weeks, but now I wish that she had.

Last night my contractions changed. They’re very strong now - I actually had to moan from a bad one this morning, they’re hitting me in the lower back as well, and are often accompanied by a feeling in my abdomen very similar to the cramps one has with diarrhea. They are still not regular, only occurring at most twice an hour, and they are still strongest in the area between my pelvic bone and belly button. So I’m not sure what to make of the difference. I’ve heard that real contractions start just under the ribcage and radiate downwards. I guess time will tell.

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