I guess the author of the Time magazine article How We Became the United States of France is trying to be humorous, but the more I read of the article, the more I was insulted.  What is so wrong with France, anyway?  I don’t get this (yes, I know it’s supposed to be a joke, but I personally don’t find it funny).

This is the state of our great republic: We’ve nationalized the financial system, taking control from Wall Street bankers we no longer trust. We’re about to quasi-nationalize the Detroit auto companies via massive loans because they’re a source of American pride, and too many jobs — and votes — are at stake. Our Social Security system is going broke as we head for a future where too many retirees will be supported by too few workers. How long before we have national healthcare? Put it all together, and the America that emerges is a cartoonish version of the country most despised by red-meat red-state patriots: France. Only with worse food.

My God, how LONG before we have NATIONAL heathcare!  The horror!

Admit it, mes amis, the rugged individualism and cutthroat capitalism that made America the land of unlimited opportunity has been shrink-wrapped by a half dozen short sellers in Greenwich, Conn. and FedExed to Washington D.C. to be spoon-fed back to life by Fed Chairman Ben Bernanke and Treasury Secretary Hank Paulson. We’re now no different from any of those Western European semi-socialist welfare states that we love to deride. Italy? Sure, it’s had four governments since last Thursday, but none of them would have allowed this to go on; the Italians know how to rig an economy.

Aha, couldn’t write an article on economics without a dig at those crazy corrupt Italians!  Also, I wouldn’t exactly say that there is no difference between the US and those silly Western European semi-socialist welfare states. The system pretty much works over here, at least for now.

You just know the Frogs have only increased their disdain for us, if that is indeed possible.

Especially if they read this article!

And why shouldn’t they? The average American is working two and half jobs, gets two weeks off, and has all the employment security of a one-armed trapeze artist. The Bush Administration has preached the “ownership society” to America: own your house, own your retirement account; you don’t need the government in your way. So Americans mortgaged themselves to the hilt to buy overpriced houses they can no longer afford and signed up for 401k programs that put money where, exactly? In the stock market! Where rich Republicans fleeced them.

I think there were probably some rich Democrats involved in the fleecing too.

Now our laissez-faire (hey, a French word)…

No shit!  (Excuse my French, hahahahaha)

…regulation-averse Administration has made France’s only Socialist president, Francois Mitterand, look like Adam Smith by comparison. All Mitterrand did was nationalize France’s big banks and insurance companies in 1982; he didn’t have to deal with bankers who didn’t want to lend money, as Paulson does. When the state runs the banks, they are merely cows to be milked in the service of la patrie.

Wasn’t there some small financial scandal a few months back involving a French bank?

France doesn’t have the mortgage crisis that we do, either. In bailing out mortgage lenders Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac, our government has basically turned America into the largest subsidized housing project in the world. Sure, France has its banlieues, where it likes to warehouse people who aren’t French enough (meaning, immigrants or Algerians) in huge apartment blocks. But the bulk of French homeowners are curiously free of subprime mortgages foisted on them by fellow citizens, and they aren’t over their heads in personal debt.

Because unlike France, America is so good at dealing with immigrant issues. Note: Germans aren’t over their heads in personal debt either.

We’ve always dismissed the French as exquisitely fed wards of their welfare state. They work, what, 27 hours in a good week, have 19 holidays a month, go on strike for two days and enjoy a glass of wine every day with lunch — except for the 25% of the population that works for the government, who have an even sweeter deal. They retire before their kids finish high school, and they don’t have to save for a $45,000-a-year college tuition because college is free. For this, they pay a tax rate of about 103%, and their labor laws are so restrictive that they haven’t had a net gain in jobs since Napoleon. There is no way that the French government can pay for this lifestyle forever, except that it somehow does.

Baffling, isn’t it?

Mitterrand tried to create both job-growth and wage-growth by nationalizing huge swaths of the economy, including some big industries, including automaker Renault, for instance. You haven’t driven a Renault lately because Renault couldn’t sell them here. Imagine that.  An auto company that couldn’t compete with a Dodge Colt. But the Renault takeover ultimately proved successful and Renault became a private company again in 1996, although the government retains about 15% of the shares.

Dude, I drive a Renault and I love it.  I guess they’re a failure though cause they didn’t make it in the US market.

Now the U.S. is faced with the same prospect in the auto industry. GM and Ford need money to develop greener cars that can compete with Toyota and Honda. And they’re looking to Uncle Sam for investment — an investment that could have been avoided had Washington imposed more stringent mileage standards years earlier. But we don’t want to interfere with market forces like the French do — until we do.

Okay, I’ve had enough of this guy.  I’ll let you read the rest in peace.

Mitterand’s nationalization program and other economic reforms failed, as the development of the European Market made a centrally planned economy obsolete. The Rothschilds got their bank back, a little worse for wear. These days, France sashays around the issue of protectionism in a supposedly unfettered EU by proclaiming some industries to be national champions worthy of extra consideration — you know, special needs kids. And we’re not talking about pastry chefs, but the likes of GDF Suez, a major utility. I never thought of the stocks and junk securities sold by Goldman Sachs and Morgan Stanley as unique, but clearly Washington does. Morgan’s John Mack calls SEC boss Chris Cox to whine about short sellers and bingo, the government obliges. The elite serve the elite. How French is that?

Even in the strongest sectors in the U.S., there’s no getting away from the French influence. Nothing is more sacred to France than its farmers. They get whatever they demand, and they demand a lot. And if there are any issues about price supports, or feed costs being too high, or actual competition from other countries, French farmers simply shut down the country by marching their livestock up the Champs Elysee and piling up wheat on the highways. U.S. farmers would never resort to such behavior. They don’t have to: they’re the most coddled special interest group in U.S. history, lavished with $180 billion in subsidies by both parties, even when their products are fetching record prices. One consequence: U.S. consumers pay twice what the French pay for sugar, because of price guarantees. We’re more French than France.

So yes, while we’re still willing to work ourselves to death for the privilege of paying off our usurious credit cards, we can no longer look contemptuously at the land of 246 cheeses. Kraft Foods has replaced American International Group in the Dow Jones Industrial Average, the insurance company having been added to Paulson’s nationalized portfolio. Macaroni and cheese has supplanted credit default swaps at the fulcrum of capitalism. And one more thing: the food snob French love McDonalds, which does a fantastic business there. They know a good freedom fry when they taste one.

Is he really comparing cheese-flavored, orange powder to France’s amazin array of delectable cheeses?  And freedom fries?  BLAH!

Have I just lost my sense of humor?  What do you think of this article?

A new Madame Tussauds wax figure museum opened July 5th in Berlin near the Brandenburg Gate. There was some controversy over the museum’s decision to include a wax figure of Adolf Hitler, and what do you know, the second museum patron in the door pushed guards aside, jumped over a desk, and ripped off the head of Hitler.

In other Berlin news, Barack Obama is planning a visit to the capitol later this summer, and the US Embassy on Pariser Platz has reopened, and not to the best reviews.

Germany is getting just as bad as France nowadays.  Here’s a message I received from the US Consulate (you too can get these messages by registering with the State Department).  In addition to what’s listed in the message, Deutsche Bahn (the train service) are planning to strike indefinitely starting on Monday.  So basically, if there is a union involved, it’s probably on strike now.

Warden Message From the U.S. Embassy Regarding Possible Public Sector Strikes

We call your attention to the following information concerning possible strikes across Germany this month that could have a significant impact on a wide array of public sector and transportation services:

Public services across Germany could be severely curtailed this week by possible strikes and major walkouts by the service sector trade union in protest over wage negotiations. Without specifying which services could be affected, union representatives have reportedly stated that any strike would be timed to cause maximum disruption during rush hour and could include halting services at airports. The large-scale strikes could also affect day-care centers, hospitals and waste management. Strikes could begin at any time and are likely to be Germany-wide.

In Berlin, union transportation workers are also threatening a ten-day strike from Wednesday, March 5, and lasting until March 14. This strike could bring much of the public transit system to a standstill, affecting Berlin’s U-Bahn, bus and tram network. Separately, the labor dispute between Deutsche Bahn and the train engineers’ union continues and on March 3, the union threatened to strike again if Deutsche Bahn fails to improve its latest contract proposal by March 7. According to a union statement, this strike could begin as early as next week and could have Germany-wide repercussions for all rail services.

The latest information available for the greater Frankfurt area indicates there will likely be a municipal workers strike March 6. This strike could affect U-Bahn, bus and tram service, as well as kindergartens, trash collection and other city services. It appears that the strike might last the entire day.

Finally, according to management representatives at the Frankfurt airport, strikes that interrupted services in the air travel sector today ended at 10 a.m. and air travel is expected to return to normal by tomorrow morning. This strike is reported to have affected airports in Düsseldorf, Dortmund, Hannover, Hamburg, Munich, Nürnberg, Köln/Bonn, Saarbrücken, and Stuttgart.

Since the dates of strikes are always subject to change, American citizens should monitor local media sources for new developments.

Americans living or traveling in Germany are encouraged to register with the nearest U.S. Embassy of Consulate through the State Department’s travel registration web site, https://travelregistration.state.gov/ibrs/ui/, and to obtain updated information on travel and security within Germany. Americans without Internet access may register directly with the nearest U.S. Embassy or Consulate. By registering, American citizens make it easier for the Embassy or Consulate to contact them in case of emergency.

For the latest security information, Americans living and traveling abroad should regularly monitor the Department of State’s Bureau of Consular Affairs Internet website at http://travel.state.gov, where the current Travel Alerts, Travel Warnings, Worldwide Caution, and Country Specific Information for Germany can be found. Up-to-date information on security can also be obtained by calling 1-888-407-4747 toll-free in the U.S. and Canada or, for callers outside the U.S. and Canada, a regular toll line at 1-202-501-4444. These numbers are available from 8:00 a.m. to 8:00 p.m. Eastern Time, Monday through Friday (except U.S. federal holidays)

For more info see:

• Spiegel Online: After Years of Patience, the Unions Strike Back
• FAZ: Warnstreiks in Süddeutschland: „Alle Fahrzeuge stehen still“
• Bahn.de: Deutsche Bahn bereitet sich auf mögliche Streiks der Gewerkschaft Deutscher Lokomotivführer vor - Ersatzfahrpläne in Vorbereitung
• Berliner Zeitung Online: Arbeitskampf: Sarrazin beschimpft BVG-Personal

Rauchverbot auf dem Oktoberfest: Kein Qualm auf der Wiesn - Starting January 1, smoking will be banned in all public places in Bayern, including pubs and tents, which means that Oktoberfest 2008 will be smoke-free (in the tents anyway). Yippee for non-smokers! Only two more months and we can go out to restaurants again without exposing Oliver to smoke or coming home smelling like an ashtray!

SPD fordert Tempolimit von 130 km/h -The Social Democrat Party (SPD) is supporting a move to have a nationwide speed limit of 130 km/h (or 80 mph) for environmental reasons. The limit should reduce gasoline consumption and CO2 emissions. The Green party have joined this initiative, but it will not pass without the Christian Democrats (CDU). Perhaps this is just a way to accuse the CDU of not doing anything for the environment.

I support imposing speed limits for environmental reasons. I also up until recently thought it would make the Autobahn safer, but I’ve heard that the Autobahn is safer than the US Highways. This seems difficult to believe, because it feels so dangerous to have tractor trailers in the right lane going 80 km/h (50 mph), while most of the traffic is moving at around 130 km/h, and then there are the Autobahn racers who fly past at 200 km/h (125 mph). I can’t remember who, but someone told me that they think that because the Autobahn feels dangerous, the drivers are more careful and aware of what’s going on around them, while in America, people feel the highways are relatively safe, so they eat, telephone, or otherwise divide their attention from focusing on driving. In the end, much of the Autobahn is already covered by speed limits anyway, so it won’t be that huge a change.

And one final odd piece -

FLIRTY OLD MAN: German Playboy, 77, Sues for Sex
Aging German playboy Rolf Eden has rarely taken no for an answer. And he’s not about to start. He has filed charges against a 19-year-old for refusing to sleep with him. The complaint? Ageism.

I’m not even going to comment on that one.

My brother took this picture from outside his hotel room in Southern California this weekend. Yikes!

For more info on the prize and on climate change, see:

• Gore, U.N. Body Win Nobel Peace Prize
• Friedensnobelpreis für Al Gore
• Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change (IPCC) Homepage
• Things you can do to combat the Climate Crisis

Find out more:
- FreeBurma.org
- WashingtonPost.com: Burmese Troops Carry Out Nighttime Arrests; Monks Put to Flight
- SpiegelOnline: BURMA’S BRUTAL CRACKDOWN CONTINUES ‘They Come at Night and Murder the Monks’