Interview with a Canadian Expat

August 30, 2007 · Filed Under Pregnant in Deutschland 

Lynn is a Canadian expat that I made friends with in Potsdam who has since moved to Australia. When I met her, she had an almost two year old daughter and was six months pregnant. I’d been opening up more to the idea of being a mom, but getting to know her and seeing her relationship with her daughter was what finally convinced me that I could do it. I thought her German birthing experience would be especially interesting to folks because she had her first child in Canada and her second in Germany, so she could compare and contrast the differences in her experiences, so I decided to ask her about her thoughts:

What were the biggest differences in your prenatal care between Germany and Canada?

There were no fundamental differences between the prenatal care I received in Germany and Canada. I scouted out an English speaking Frauenartz and I was lucky enough to find him only a few blocks from where I lived! In Canada, I hired a doula, took prenatal yoga classes, and also took the prenatal birth classes. Had my German been better, I probably still wouldn’t have taken yoga or participated in the birth classes as this pregnancy was my second one anyway. In Germany, I had an English speaking midwife who gave me acupuncture during the last 6 weeks of my pregnancy.

Were you surprised by anything?

The biggest surprise for me was the lack of a paper skirt at the doctor’s office. Had this been my first pregnancy, I might have been horrified and completely embarrassed but since it was my second pregnancy - I was already accustomed to being ‘on display’ so it wasn’t that bad. But still - it was odd and I had to get used to it.

Did you find anything disappointing? Was there anything you wish you could have changed?

What I found most disappointing about my birth experience in Germany was the lack of compassion from the midwives at the hospital. My regular midwife (who was wonderful) wasn’t on staff that morning so I had another one. They were very severe and harsh. I came into the hospital with really hard contractions and 30 minutes after I got there I was already in transition - the baby was coming. I felt like they thought that I was just being a wimp with all my moaning and groaning. It still irritates me to think about it. Anyway, the birth was hard and fast and I was given an episiotomy without any anaesthetic. So, after the baby was born and I was lying down, I asked another midwife for some paracetamol with codeine and she scoffed at me. I was rather taken aback by that since I just gave birth with NO epidural, and an episiotomy so I was pretty darn sore and swollen. The attitude was - ‘why do you need that?!.

In Canada, the nurses on staff were much more compassionate and understanding of the trauma your body goes through after birth. So, I had Tylenol 3s on a regular schedule.

However, in Canada they expect you to only stay one night and leave the next day for a normal vaginal delivery. I liked the fact that you stay in the hospital longer in Germany - especially if this is your second child - it gives you time to rest and recover from the birth and get to know your new baby. In Canada, a public health nurse comes to your house to see if everything is going well with you and the baby, but in Germany, your midwife visits you at least once a week for 6 weeks. I really appreciated all the help and advice I received from my midwife.

How well do you speak German? Did you have any problems you’d attribute to language in your experience in Germany?

Well, my German isn’t that great. I can get by and can understand and speak in simple sentences - thankfully most medical staff can speak some English. Honestly, I can’t attribute any problems I had to language difficulties - it was probably more cultural differences than anything.

Is there any advice you’d give to expat women giving birth in Germany?

If you aren’t fluent in German, then I would recommend seeking out an English speaking doctor and midwife. If my doctor didn’t speak English, I would have had a very difficult time expressing any concerns I had or asking questions about tests, pregnancy, and the birth. The same goes for my midwife. However, on that note - when you do give birth - I don’t’ think language is an issue. Nature takes its course, and if you have the baby. There is a good website that I found that I gave you the link to.. do you remember it? Perhaps you can post it for others - I found it very helpful.

Links Lynn shared with me:

Some of my thoughts on her experience: the Hebammen (midwives) I had were all great (well, except the first one, but she didn’t have too much to do with me since I wasn’t having contractions during her shift. I could imagine the Hebamme who led the birthing class I attended being the way Lynn describes, however. I think it’s funny that they seemed to think she was making a lot of fuss about nothing. I don’t remember it, but Rainer told me the other day that when I was doing my shot putter grunts, the more senior doctor told me not to be so crazy (I don’t remember the exact wording he told me, but she said something like, “Spiel mal nicht so verrückt.”). But then she was impressed with my “Bärenstark” pushing, so I guess I had the last laugh there!

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11 Responses to “Interview with a Canadian Expat”

  1. Anonymous on August 30th, 2007 4:53 pm

    That was interesting. I would think these midwives would be more sympathetic. Have any of them given birth? Anyway, the lack of the paper blanket disturbed me the most. That would be disturbing! I think you are a real trooper, Christina. You didn’t have it easy at all, but look what you got!!!!:) We will be in Germany in October. What is the weather like? I don’t know what to pack. Also, any must dos in Munich and Salzburg? Thanks. Pam

  2. rita on August 30th, 2007 6:28 pm

    oh, yeah, the old story about the pain killers. when my mum gave birth to my sister and me, she had just the same problems. and mind you, my sister is 11 and i am 26. then again it ties in with that report i read a few years back. obviously a thorough understanding of the treatment of pain is sorely lacking in the german medical system. a lot of those in the profession share the attitude, ‘if it doesn’t kill you, shut up!’

    it looks like nothing has changed in the past 26 years.

  3. Anonymous on August 30th, 2007 7:03 pm

    To Rita and Christina, My son-in-law is studying medicine in Germany and I am definitely going to mention this to him to get his take on it. This seems archaic to me and extremely insensitive to women giving birth. Pam

  4. xanafunny on August 30th, 2007 8:48 pm

    I gave birth to my second child in Germany a year ago and had a VERY similar birth experience. (BTW I had the first one in the US, which from the sounds of it is not as nice as Canada.) With the second the birth was an “ambulatory” delivery — I never made it to the delivery room. The doctor and midwife who attended the birth were nice but the midwife was actually on her way out at the time, so she didn’t look after me later at all.. I had VERY painful contractions afterward and I had to get up and beg for ibuprofin — fortunately I brought my own, because they were super stingy. I had planned on a drug-free delivery, but was really surprised I couldn’t get some regular ibruprofin AFTERWARDS. Even after I got back I had a hard time getting the pharmacist to sell me some because I was nursing! In contrast, in the US I had prescriptions for all sorts of drugs pretty much thrown at me.

  5. ChristinaG on August 31st, 2007 7:47 am

    @pam: The German medical system could use some work. I’ve found that some doctors don’t like involving the patients in decisions about their care, but if you look around, you can find good doctors who’ll discuss things with you and take your opinions into account. It was a big change for me coming here, usually in the States when a doctor found out I worked as a statistician on clinical trials, they’d REALLY involve me and even ask my advice about drugs or papers they were reading. The weather in October will be cool to cold and you should bring a raincoat and/or umbrella too. I can’t really tell you about must sees, I’ve only been to Munich once and I’ve never been to Salzburg. Have fun!

    @rita: I thought the doctors and midwives handled my pain okay (not perfect, but it wasn’t a disaster), so maybe there has been some improvement… or it was a fluke!

    @xanafunny: I’m surprised too that they wouldn’t give it to you, because Ibuprofen is supposed to be okay for breastfeeding moms. I’d have been a wreck if they expected me to go drug-free! They gave me 12-hour Voltaren capsules at the hospital after the birth, and I got a prescription for more from the doctor without even asking.

  6. Anonymous on August 31st, 2007 4:59 pm

    I will talk to my son-in-law about this. My feeling is that the younger doctors in Germany have a much more relaxed attitude. Thanks for the wardrobe info. Living in Southern California, I don’t even own a raincoat. I think I will wait and buy one in Germany. Pam

  7. ChristinaG on September 2nd, 2007 7:22 pm

    @pam: Younger German doctors tend to be fine. It seems the closer the doctor is to retirement, the more likely they are to not listen to you. I know several Germans who look for the youngest doctors they can find when they need treatment - and I’ve taken up doing this as well.

    My aunt just returned home to Southern California (the OC) and I think she found it a bit chilly here already. She was always sure to bring a sweater along everywhere we went.

  8. Anonymous on September 4th, 2007 5:19 am

    I am so excited to experience cold weather (my daughter thinks I’m crazy!), but we have had the seventh day of over 100 degrees and it is just tooooo hot. Today it was 112 at my brother’s house. We had an earthquake yesterday, so it is Shake and Bake time in California. I live in the OC as well. We are in Rancho Santa Margarita. Where does your aunt live? It really is a small world. Have fun in Munchen! Pam

  9. ChristinaG on September 4th, 2007 7:25 am

    @pam: I hope the earthquake wasn’t too big. I didn’t hear about it, so hopefully it wasn’t that bad. My aunt lives in Aliso Viejo. Now I’m off to Munich and hoping to pass a Starbucks on the way to the Consulate!

    PS: Oliver has been laughing his head off this morning. He laughed for the first time on Sunday. He won’t laugh or smile for a camera though, how do people get pictures of the first smile? I think you’ve really gotta be seriously lucky to do that!

  10. rllavoie on September 4th, 2007 4:28 pm

    Ahhh, how sweet. Well, welcome to your first shocking life lesson that yes, unfortunately, they DO have a mind of their own. Rats, it would be so nice if they complied. But now you know you are on your way to a lifetime of discovering this incredible individual in your life! Aliso Viejo is right next to us, around 10 to 15 minutes away! The quake was a 4.7 but we really felt it because the epicenter was only 8 miles away. Have a great day. Pam

  11. ChristinaG on September 7th, 2007 1:04 am

    @pam: I love getting to know his personality. It doesn’t bother me so much that I can’t get the photos I want and such. I’m a pretty laid back mom ;-)

    My aunt said there was a 3.4 quake yesterday that she felt. Have a great day yourself!

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