On Monday night, we had our sixth and final birth preparation class at the hospital. I really, really wanted to skip the class. I was tired and I’d decided that it wasn’t really giving me anything, but I felt bad since it’s covered by insurance and what if this was the one time that the class really paid off?
We started out this session without meditating (woohoo!), instead the instructor told us about positions for the birth. She discussed the home visits we’d be getting from the midwives and she pushed hard for staying in the hospital for a few days (because this let’s us rest up after the birth, but it also gives the hospital, doctors, and midwives quite a bit more money, so I’m not sure if she’s really all that impartial).
The instructor asked if we were all planning on breastfeeding. One couple answered no, that they knew someone who’d had a bad experience and they just weren’t going to do it. The instructor then went on to give them a one hour lecture on the benefits of breastfeeding. The couple didn’t look too happy about this (and I don’t blame them). I say that the better method is to shortly summarize the pluses of breastfeeding, then ask them to think it over again – “Just give it a try, you can always stop.” I think lecturing people about why they’re making a bad choice just shuts down communication and is going to guarantee that they don’t listen to you, on this topic or any other. She also told us to drink Stilltee (breastfeeding tea – Germans have a tea for boosting every bodily function) and beer (but not in excess) to increase our milk production. I seriously doubt there are any scientific studies to support these suggestions.
She then asked the class what kind of diapers we were going to be using. We are a disposables class. She pulled out a cloth diaper, demonstrated how to prepare and diaper the baby with them, then lectured us on how much waste we were going to be putting in the landfills. The couple next to us mentioned that neither option is eco-friendly, as cloth diapers need to be washed, which uses water and electricity, but the instructor ignored their comment and continued on her tirade. I looked into using cloth diapers and came to the same conclusion as the other couple. I decided that water and electricity were more pressing issues than landfills. I think society has more time to figure out how to process trash than to get over its dependence on coal-based fuels, not to mention climate change melting the glaciers which will someday soon cause water-shortages. In the end, she asked who among us wanted pamphlets on PoPoLiNi diapers (a cloth brand), and she got two takers.
She had a small fit about the baby product industry and told us the only thing we need to clean the baby is a washcloth and some olive oil, followed by marigold-based diaper rash cream. I’m with her that we don’t need all the products that are out there, but I’m going to stick with the APA, Mayo Clinic, and Consumer Reports recommendations for diaper rash cream with zinc oxide. I’ve also got a hair and body wash combo.
Finally, she gave us some handouts, including the addresses and phone numbers of the other mothers in the group, and some freebies (wash cloths and Penaten creme), and sent us on our way. Phew!
Overall, I’d say the class was pretty unnecessary. I’m an avid reader/researcher, so I figured I would know a lot of the stuff going in, but thought it would be a good way to make friends with moms who have kids of the same age. Ummm, nope. Rainer even said it was weird how nobody talked to anyone else. I tried for the first few sessions to engage some of the other women in conversation, but they just didn’t seem interested. I think this has to do with the fact that they have all lived in the area their whole lives. I guess they already know plenty of folks with babies.
In other pregnancy news, I lost 700 grams (1.5 pounds) over the last week. The doctor is pleased cause she thinks this was all fluid that had built up in my body. I’m also ready to announce to you that I have conquered the pregnancy acne! About six weeks ago, I started spraying Paula’s Choice 2% Beta Hydroxy Acid Liquid on my chest and back after baths and all that’s left now are scars (hopefully these will fade over time). Of course, I guess my hormones could have changed during this time period and that explains it instead.
{ 24 comments… read them below or add one }
Christina,
the hospital actually gets a flat-rate for each birth, so they don’t earn more if you stay longer. (That changed maybe 5-6 years ago; when I had my babies they got paid per day so women with normal vaginal births were staying in for 10+ days).
Your weight in pregnancy is nothing short of spectacular! I gained more than I’d care to admit, and gained between each and every check-up, even towards the end. You might just end up driving home in pre-pregnancy pants, LOL.
P.S. give the Stilltee a try – it’s actually quite tasty, and back when I had my babies the Krankenkasse actually paid for it (doubt they do now though) and I figure they wouldn’t pay for something that wasn’t proven to work. Well, probably. Anyhow I nursed for 34 months; I’ll never know how much the tea helped.
Well, the problem with disposables isn’t just the landfill issue, but the resources used to create them. A lot more, since you need new ones any time.
That said I’d probably use disposables too.
Oh geez, the midwives haven’t changed AT ALL since I had my last baby over 11 years ago – breastfeed or bust, disposable diapers are evil, herbal tea and blah blah blah. I can’t believe they’re still harping on all that stuff instead of letting people make up their own minds.
I didn’t really click with anyone I met in my birthing classes either. Some of them paired of right away and others just ignored each other. I guess it was good preparation for “the German way” of doing things, though, so there weren’t that many suprises afterwards.
It’s great to hear about the process in Germany. I’m glad midwives are involved, even if yours goes on moral tirades. How involved is your midwife involved in the delivery?
As an aside, while I was at my yoga teacher training, we discussed how, as teachers, we shouldn’t use our position to preach our own issues (environmental or whatever). The class is about the students, not the teacher.
I was lucky to have an amazing midwife who did not preach to me, but did offer a lot of help and advice. She also did not recommend any teas, etc. Apparently things were/are going well enough without them. I am still nursing primarily at six and a half months– one meal a day he gets baby food. Oh– and I left the hospital approximately 10 hours after giving birth. I found the interruptions by the staff, etc to be a pain and figured I could rest more at home (I was right).
Or try Moltex (sp?) diapers which are supposedly more eco friendly. I didn’t always use them on my son because he often had diaper rash, but I tried to when I could. I think they are supposed to biodegrade faster.
@martina: They say to bring pants you could fit into at 6 months, and while I couldn’t get in pre-pregnancy jeans then, I was still wearing my prepregnancy sweatpants at 6 months, so maybe…
And the flat rate for the hospital may be true, but the head midwife was explaining to us that we were going to be billed seperately by the doctors and midwives for any services they provide, so it didn’t sound like a flat rate for them. We’ll find out for sure when we get the bill, anyways!
@c n heidelberg: There’s a lot of energy and environmental impact in producing the cotton diapers as well (pesticides & fertilizers), not to mention heating up the water to wash them (a load every day or two at min. 60 degrees C). Here’s a study done by the UK Environment Agency Life Cycle Assessment of Disposable and Reusable Nappies in the UK that finds “no substantial difference between the environmental impacts” of using disposable vs. reusable diapers.
@christina: Exactly! I just hope the midwives don’t get all preachy when they make their home visits! And I wasn’t really surprised about not making friends at class – like you said, the German way and all.
@tammy: Over here, the midwives do everything and a doctor only comes in if there are problems with the birth, like a C-section is required or the baby is breach.
@maria: I figure I’ll decide after the birth how long I want to stay. I’m not the biggest fan of extended stays in hospitals, so I can see myself wanting to come home early.
@anon: I’ve read that because landfills are airtight (once the trash gets covered by the next load) that the biodegradable diapers don’t get a chance to biodegrade like they would in a compost situation. Plus they take the same amount of energy and resources to produce. They are still an option to consider, of course.
Christina: pants that fit at 6 months pregnancy was about right for me
@martina: I packed pants that fit me at 8 months pregnant, just in case
-I was able to choose my midwife for follow-up visits which was nice; I chose someone who seemed knowledgeable and offered options without judgment. Most others seemed to have more of an agenda.
-One option she offered was the Stilltee which worked for me; a few times my milk supply was low but increased when I drank the tea, especially early on. I’m not a beer drinker so I didn’t go that route. They also told me Prosecco might help, which tempted me, but I decided I didn’t want anything that might cause me to be more exhausted than I already was!
-I was unexpectedly grateful to have the option of an extended stay in the hospital, since Theo had to be in the KinderKlinik for 4 days. It would have been a huge bummer to have to leave him there.
-Is there an international women’s group in Regensberg? I found a really nice moms/babies group through mine. It was a nice way to connect with other moms (most not American, and only one German) who all have different philosophies and experiences. I’ve learned a lot without feeling like it was The Germany Way or the highway (or,um, the AutoBahn).
Bad luck on the tirades. She sounds like quite a party-stopper. I say don’t forget to pack your high-heels and a little spangly dress as well. Darling, you can never be TOO sure.
Looking forward to hearing the big news when it comes. Have you given Rainer your password?
Hi me again with Moltex – go on their website for complete information, but to sum it up, Moltex diapers go in the compost, even the bag they come in can go in the compost. From their website. “we all know that conventional nappies will be sitting around in landfill for generations to come. Eco-dispodables can break down in compost – visit http://www.ecobaby.ie for full compost information.
C-
best of luck with bringing your little treasure out. And, I totally agree with you on the Elternschule…but, remember, not everyone takes as much time to look into things as you. One piece of advice on the delivery: if you want the drugs, don’t let the Hebamme stall or try to buy time. Be direct, even if you have to be rude.
We just had our beautiful girl. Wow.
lou
@blythe: – I don’t think I’ll have much choice, since we live so far outside of Regensburg. I think we’re just going to end up getting assigned the midwife who lives closest to us. – I’m sure if I have problems producing milk, I’ll check out the Stilltee, but I’m not a big tea fan (or beer drinker either!). – I’m sure if Oliver has to stay in the hospital, I will be happy to stay longer as well. We don’t live all that close so it would be a huge bummer to leave him. – I’ve heard there is one, and I gave a guy who knew one of the moms my email, but I never heard from anyone about it. Once things get settled I’ll probably look into it again.
@bib: Rainer doesn’t even comment, I can’t imagine him actually logging in and making a post! LOL! I think you’re gonna have to wait until I’m out before hearing the news. Sorry!
@anon: Thanks for the link, I’ll have to look into that.
@lou: You’re of course right about the Elternschule. There are people who would find it incredibly useful – not everyone can spend the day websurfing like me
. Your little girl is really beautiful. And thanks for the advice on the drugs.
When I first started to nurse, I was completely paranoid about making enough milk (long story about some meds they had me on and dire warnings from a lactation consultant) and I read that the BEST way to get a good supply going is to nurse often. It worked for me, and Wee Laddie nursed for 2 years.
If you’re still concerned (having done all your research you probably won’t be, as the majority of moms are able to nurse just fine), I’ve heard good things about some of the teas in the US… probably the same applies here. But I read somewhere that beer just gives you the *perception* of more milk. (Plus it’s not smart to get drunk regularly with a newborn in the house. haha)
I second Lou’s suggestion about being direct with the Hebamme if you decide to go with the drugs. I felt bossy at the time, but after talking with others in the hospital, I’m glad I insisted when I did.
wow. your hebamme sounds like a party-pooper!
have you had a look around the hospital yet? i can’t remember whether you commented yet.
@o-tay: There is a distinct possibility that I won’t produce enough milk, but I’m not going to worry about it until it actually happens. It may be completely fine. But that has kept my breastfeeding item purchases to a bare minimum.
@blythe: I’m sure my job experience will come in handy here, I had to deal with all kinds of stubborn doctors while working on clinical trials!
@rita: She’s okay (as long as she’s not lecturing). We did get a chance to look around the hospital after our last class. Seems fine. It’s one of the top children’s hospitals in Germany, so if anything goes wrong, we’re in the right place.
Breastfeeding items purchases? That’s the beauty of nursing – you hardly need to purchase anything! (Don’t bother guessing which size nursing bra you’re going to need – you’ll never get it right until you’re actually nursing.)
@martina: Of course, that’s why I can get away with hardly any purchases yet (I have two stretchy pregnancy/nursing bras). But there are plenty of convenience items that can be purchased, like more (better) nursing bras, nursing tops, washable breast pads, a breast pump (so I can leave the baby or Rainer can have a turn feeding on occasion), bags/containers for freezing milk, etc.
Can a bloke break into this female domain and just say something? I think my son is older than most of the contributors here, but I still remember when he was born. It was the most wonderful moment of my life (yes I know I did not have to feel the pain), and I did my best with the breathing and all that. We had been to ante-natal classes and were very well prepared. Since we men cannot do much more than support before and during birth it is so much more important that we share the work afterwards, i.e. change nappies, get up in the middle of the night, feed, wash etc. I did that with my own son and now of late, when I get the opportunity, I do the same for his daughter, my granddaughter. What joy it is to help a little person in that way. Yes, I really mean it. They are coming to visit in a week’s time and I am very much looking forward to it. So mothers, make sure your men do their bit! Good luck ChristinaG on the day the little one decides to join the world!
@swenglishexpat: Thanks! (And I’ve already told Rainer that he better be helping out a lot or he’s in big trouble!)