5 years ago today…

November 2, 2006 · Filed Under Uncategorized 

It was five years ago today that my dad passed away. My dad was my best friend and I still miss him a lot, especially our long talks. He totally got me and at least for me, finding someone who gets you is a big deal. After a 10 month fight against pancreatic cancer, he died at the age of 54. He never got to see me get married or know that Rainer is the guy that I’d end up with. I sometimes think that this is totally unfair. That he was way too young to die. But at least I got the time with him that I did. I often have to remind myself that some people never get to know their dads. He did meet Rainer once, however. The summer before he passed away, Rainer came up for a family dinner. He brought a bottle of good Riesling, and although my dad hadn’t had any appetite for months, he ate the dinner and drank a glass of wine. I really wish Rainer had been able to get to know my dad better, cause I think my dad was a pretty special guy. You could always depend on him for whatever you needed, whether it was a laugh when you were sad, a talk when you were lonely, or being picked up from college in the middle of the night cause you were homesick.

People may have wondered why I never wrote anything for the 5th anniversary of September 11. That was because I spent most of the day on the phone with my dad, so my memory of 9-11 is tied to the memory of my dad, and it’s still tough for me to think about. He worked for the Defense Department Inspector General’s office, which was located in a building across the parking lot from the Pentagon. He worried that some of his friends might have been in the section destroyed by the terrorists. He stayed on the phone much of the morning making sure that his people were all okay. It ends up that one very old friend of his was in the Pentagon, but luckily not in the affected section. He also comforted his secretary. Her aunt was a secretary in the section hit. After a few worried hours, they found out that she was not in her office at the time and survived unscathed.

He went into Hospice of Northern Virginia the night before he died. They said no one had ever had as many visitors as my dad. He was loved by everyone who knew him and his friends and coworkers made a constant stream of visitors on his last day. He was also presented with the Distinguished Civilian Service Award while there. It is the highest civilian honor the Defense Department awards. He stayed aware of what was going on almost to the very end and was very proud when they came for the ceremony.

He died in the evening with his family surrounding him. I was holding his hand.

My mom and dad in Thailand
My brother Christopher and I with dad

Christian and dad


My dad and mom at his 50th birthday party

We spread some of his ashes at the Tidal Basin

And some are interred at the Columbarium in Arlington National Cemetery

My dad after completing boot camp - He dropped out of college to fight in the Vietnam war. My aunt Cherie is on the far left and my grandma and grandpa are to the right.

My dad as a kid

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Comments

9 Responses to “5 years ago today…”

  1. Peter & Gladys Liew on November 2nd, 2006 10:50 am

    very interesting blog you have here

  2. Anonymous on November 2nd, 2006 11:46 am

    Very moving. My father died of pancreatic cancer last year.

  3. Peter & Gladys Liew on November 2nd, 2006 3:04 pm

    Christina, if you dun mind, i wan to link you to my blog ya

  4. Christina on November 2nd, 2006 4:41 pm

    I don’t mind at all. Feel free to link to me. :-)

  5. Dawn on November 3rd, 2006 12:55 am

    What a VERY moving tribute to what sounds like a wonderful man! I read through this with tears in my eyes.

    Here via BlogExplosion.

  6. Grafs on November 3rd, 2006 2:07 am

    I love this tribute. I am sorry for your loss, even if it was some time ago.

  7. vailian on November 4th, 2006 12:18 am

    Nice memorial for your Dad, Christine! I really should do something like that for my father. My brother bikes thru Arlingon Cemetery every morning on his way to work at NPR. I will have him salute for you tomorrow morning.

  8. Christina on November 5th, 2006 12:35 pm

    Thanks everyone!

  9. Sexual harrassment in academia: my experience | an american expat in deutschland on June 5th, 2008 9:11 pm

    […] my father was diagnosed with terminal pancreatic cancer. His wish was for me to finish my PhD, so I went back to school. The leave of absence was wiped […]

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