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Directories
Reincarnated Monkey God Roaming India?
From Dilbert.Blog by Scott Adams:
After my recent post, a reader alerted me to the true story of a man in India who was born with a 13-inch tail. People think he’s a reincarnation of the Hindu monkey god Hanuman. The man claims that people are cured of severe ailments when they touch his tail.
According to the press, he also likes climbing trees and eating bananas. Seriously. See for yourself.
http://www.ananova.com/news/story/sm_1886208.html?menu=news.quirkies
Doctors have offered to remove the tail. They don’t think he is a monkey god at all. The tail seems like more of a congenital defect to them. This raises an interesting question: How can you tell the difference between a reincarnated monkey god and an ordinary tree-climbing, banana-eating guy with a disease-healing tail?
For that matter, how do we know for sure he isn’t just an extraordinarily well-endowed guy who realized that if he tucked his unit behind him, diseased people would want to touch it? I’m assuming he gets lots of free bananas in this arrangement too, so it’s a sweet deal.
And this brings me to one of my little rules in life. I have many rules that apply to many different situations. Some of the rules are used more often than others. Here’s one I rarely use, but it seems relevant:
RULE 472: Before you touch a monkey god’s tail to cure your leprosy, make sure the tail doesn’t have a little hole in the end.
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Some new German goings-on
Rainer claims there was an opinion piece on SpiegelOnline that has Italy in an uproar. It was removed before I could read it and I haven’t managed to find it referred to on any sites yet either. Strange. So, according to Rainer, the author of the piece, who was trying to be funny but wasn’t, started out being disgusted at Italy’s blatant attempts to draw fouls in recent World Cup matches, then went on to insult Italian men by saying that they act all manly, but in the evenings they go home to get their pasta dinners at their mama’s. Rainer says that Germans don’t get why Italians are so insulted, not understanding that in Italian culture, insulting someone’s manliness is a BIG deal. He compared it to someone going up to a German and calling them a Nazi. Speaking of which, he said once, while in the US, a guy (friend of a friend type) found out he was German and gave him a Nazi salute, saying “Heil Hitler!” Rainer explained to the guy that while he does this thinking of old WWII movies, Rainer sees this and thinks of the mass murders of millions that his people committed. The guy then apologized…
Smart Car to be Launched in the US - Apparently the cool and tiny Smart car has never made a profit for it’s manufacturer Daimler-Chrysler, so next year it will be launched in the US. Maybe they should consider lowering the price. I would think about buying one if they weren’t so damn expensive (that goes for the Mini as well).
Flirting with Fräuleins, Hunting for Herren - This hilarious article is part of SpiegelOnline’s Germany Survival Manual. Now I understand why Rainer just stared at me all the time and I eventually had to ask HIM out:
The very worst, though, is trying to tell when a German man is flirting with you. While a New Yorker might gaze seductively at you across a dance floor — or even say “Yo baby! You are fine!” — a German guy will often merely stare expressionlessly, making you feel like you’ve reverted to the Funky Chicken or have a booger on your cheek. But he may be desperately in love with you, but be quite simply unable to indicate his interest in anything beyond discussing Angela Merkel’s domestic policy over a cup of chamomile tea.
How Long Will America Lead the World?
From a Newsweek International article at msnbc.com:
Jeffrey Immelt, CEO of GE, reflects on the growing competence and cost advantage of countries like China and even Mexico and says, “It’s unclear how many manufacturers will choose to keep their businesses in the United States.” Intel’s Andy Grove is more blunt. “America … [is going] down the tubes,” he says, “and the worst part is nobody knows it. They’re all in denial, patting themselves on the back, as the Titanic heads for the iceberg full speed ahead.”
[…]
Americans do not really know how fast the rest of the world is catching up. We don’t quite believe that most of the industrialized world - and a good part of the nonindustrialized world as well - has better cell-phone systems than we do. We would be horrified to learn that many have better and cheaper broadband - even France. We are told by our politicians that we have the best health-care system in the world, despite strong evidence to the contrary. We ignore the fact that a third of our public schools are totally dysfunctional because it doesn’t affect our children. We boast that our capital markets are the world’s finest even though of the 25 largest stock offerings (IPOs) made last year, only one was held in America. It is not an exaggeration to say that over the past five years, because of bad American policies, London is replacing New York as the world’s financial capital.
Well, folks in American can be reassured that they at least have better broadband service than Germans. Broadband is not available where I live, nor was it available in Rostock. I NEED HIGH SPEED INTERNET! AAARRGHH!!!
All apologies
Instead of my usual dose of Larry King this morning, CNN aired an episode of Insight detailing the rape of a former UVA student who, 21 years later, received an apology from the rapist. Read more in this Hook article.
Liz Seccuro was a UVA student who was raped by William Beebe during a frat party in 1984. I guess this is pretty old news, as the Hook article is from January 2005. Anyways, Beebe, as part of a 12-step program wrote her a letter of apology, which was considered by the police to be a confession, so he was then charged with rape.
This is a very complicated story that I initially felt very conflicted about. I mean, he was apologizing! But the more I thought about it, the more I sided with her. It’s strange that my first thoughts centered around how it was a long time ago and he was very young, but I wouldn’t accept “youth” as an excuse from a 20 year old now. Why is it that society is often so quick to blame the woman for these sorts of acts? In the article she has to explain that she was dressed conservatively. What does this even matter?
She says the apology reopened the wound and she went from being happy and fun-loving to being very angry and bitter. AA says that you should only apologize if it will not cause harm to the other person. So, if you are feeling guilty about something you did to someone a long time ago, and you haven’t seen that person in years, don’t apologize (unless they are family, in which case a relationship could be rebuilt). Either they have gotten over it and don’t care, or they have buried it well enough that they can get by without thinking about it too much.
Blogging idea - any volunteers - comments?
So I was surfing around and came across a Starfleet blog where the different Star Trek characters blogged about the missions they were on (it was actually not very interesting, so I didn’t save the link, but I’m sure you can find it through a search). This got me thinking and I’m considering making a fictional blog now (but with new made up characters).
This also got me thinking about an episodal story my friends and I wrote in high school about a squirrel who got skinned, had his nuts stolen, became a transsexual, got ran over by a truck, set on fire, etc. He almost always suffered some mortal injury at the end of an episode, but in beginning of each new episode always started out, “But he lived…” and was written by a different person. I wish I could find it, but I’m sure it was pretty stupid.
Not that I want to write a weird blog about a squirrel, but I like this idea of writing jointly with others. So what I was thinking is that there would be a character (or two) assigned to each author, and blog entries would be written by them. Perhaps it could be young people in a city (“Sex and the City”-esque) or college setting? Anyways, what I want to know:
- Does this sound interesting?
- Should the blog state up front that it’s fictional or pass itself off as reality?
- Do you want to be an author/character? Pleeeeease!!!
I suppose that if we try to pass it off as reality there can be no rival characters as authors, since who in their right mind let’s their enemies loose on their blogs, so that’s one con against reality. But those people could do their writting in the comments.
How does admin work with blogs with multiple authors? I need to do some reseach.
What’s with all the creepy little kids
Ebay (in Germany at least, I dunno about everywhere else) has started showing ads with the song “Tonight You Belong To Me” sung by Patience and Prudence, two sisters aged 9 and 12 at the time of recording in 1956, who have, according to Allmusic.com, “ethereal voices”. I suppose it’s supposed to be about dreaming of an ex, but I find it seriously creepy in a stalker-sitting-next-to-the-stream-telling-you-you’ll-be-dead-by-dawn kind of way.
Lyrics:
I know you belong to somebody new
But tonight you belong to me
Although you belong
To somebody else
Tonight you belong to me
Although we’re apart
You’re part of my heart
And tonight you belong to me
Way down by the stream
How sweet it will seem
Once more just to dream
In the moonlight
My honey I know
With the dawn
That you will be gone
But tonight you belong to me
Way down, way down along the stream
How very, very sweet it will seem
Once more just to dream
In the silvery moonlight
My honey I know
With the dawn
That you will be gone
But tonight you belong to me
Just to little ole me
Firsthand account of the infamous finger incident
Excerpts from an amusing letter my grandpa wrote to my dad back in 1980 (my dad was most likely in Germany or S. Korea at the time):
Dear Daddy:
Grandpa is writing this letter for me since I’m injured. I cut off the end of a finger on my right hand.
Monday about 3:30 Grandpa was in the garage and my sister & I ran out to be with him. Grandpa said “don’t slam the door,” but my sister never hears. She didn’t mean to hurt me but my finger was on the weather stripping next to the inside of the door. It cut the end off my finger next to the Pinkie. It cut all the way through & was hanging by a thread. Grandpa picked me up and ran to the bathroom moaning, “Oh my God”, etc. He was in shock and I was crying my eyes out. Grandpa yelled for Mrs. Peterson and she came over and drove us to Access in her jalopy. It was a scary ride because she drove fast - no one would let us pass - she blowed her horn & turned on her lights etc. I screamed all the way. Grandpa felt like crying. Mrs. Peterson’s girlfriend drove grandma in grandpa’s car. Access is directly across the street from Memco. They had another emergency of Life & Death of a little girl so we had to wait. The ladies worried about grandpa because he looked pale & sick. Xrays didn’t show any broken bone - it was cut just beyond the developing bone. They put 2 stitches in and sewed my finger back to-gether. Grandma gave me a children’s aspirin that night but that’s all the medication. They said to take me to the family doctor after a week to have the stitches removed. Grandma called Dr. Barsanti Tuesday and he wanted to look at me Tuesday at 2:45. He put a band aid like dressing on my finger and said to keep me out of dirt, water, etc. So grandma & grandpa give me a sponge bath every night *I like taking a shower with grandpa better. Someone has to be with me all the time and I’m an ACTIVE DYNAMO. I have to go back next Monday to have my stitches taken out. (You just lost a finger nail - I almost lost the end of a finger, the finger nail is in doubt.)
I sleep with grandpa most of the time but sometimes like Monday night grandma was best. I try to sleep between grandma & grandpa whenever my sister doesn’t monopolize them!
Grandpa has to take me for wagon rides again. I like to take car rides & sit on Christina’s seat (with grandpa putting his arm around me). We went for a ride all around Folkstone the other day (all the streets). Westwood Hills area has worse drive ways than yours.
Christina’s last day of school is 13 June. We hope to enroll her on 6 June for swimming classes to start on the 16th. Cost $20 because we don’t live in Reston. It’s cheaper at Herndon $14 but it’s an outside pool and in the longrun grandpa figures it’ll be cheaper to go to Reston Community Center. I think its 4 lessons a week for 2 weeks but we’ll find out more when they’re brochure comes out in June.
They’ve repainted the Hunter Woods Shopping Center for the week ends celebration. It looks like they’re going to have a new big restaurant next to the Library.
Grandpa is having a lot of trouble with arthritis in his left leg. His hip hasn’t healed yet. But he hobbles around trying to keep up with me & my sister.
Love & Kisses,
Christopher (Also from grandpa, grandma & Christina)
Christopher’s fingernail made it with only a small dent visable now. The way I remember it, I was annoyed that Christopher was following me around and was trying to run away from him, which is why I slammed the door shut without realizing his finger was in the doorjam. Ouch! (Hey, I was five and Christopher was 2, cut me some slack, jack.)
Christina and Christopher in 1982 (was I destined even then to move to Germany?)
France just scored their first goal and right before it the German fans were chanting, “Jetzt geht’s los!” Were they cheering on France or Togo? I didn’t see. Aren’t France a big rival of Germany? I’m surprised they would cheer for them.
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